I want something real.
I’m so tired of having to deal with someone who is back and forth with me. I am so tired of just constantly texting someone who never wants to see me. I am so sick of just having to endure so many first dates with guys whose faces I barely even remember at this point just to discover that there are never going to be second dates anymore. I am so sick of just these “almost relationships” that fill me with hope only to end up leaving me out to dry.
I am so sick of just being stuck in a vacuum of flirtation with someone without ever seeming to take things to the next level. I’m tired of not being able to break through that ceiling. I am so sick of having to lose people that I develop feelings for. I am so sick of the kind of love that isn’t here to stay – the love that turned out not to be real after all.
I am so sick of having to develop feelings for someone and having to fix myself up again because that particular someone decided to leave me. I am so sick of people thinking that I would be up for a casual hookup or a one-night stand. I am so sick of people thinking that I would be okay with being “friends with benefits” with them. I don’t want any of that. I don’t want any of the fake stuff.
I don’t want any of the relationships that don’t involve two people falling madly in love with one another; the kind of relationships that don’t have two people giving everything that they’ve got for each other. I’m so sick of the relationships that don’t add any meaning or fulfilment to my life. I’m so sick of the relationships that start out hot but end up burning out too early. I’m not interested in a relationship that just isn’t built to last.
I want a real relationship. I want the kind of love that is definitely here to stay – through good times and bad, through rich or poor, through sickness and health, for better or worse. I want all of that. I want that cliché kind of love no matter how corny it might be. I want to build the kind of love with a legacy that outlives me. I want to find a person who is actually willing to stay by my side even when I’m at my absolute worst.